Remembering ...
Today was a wonderful day ... first, I had my eyebrows shaped, second met my daughter for lunch and then off to have my nails done.
When my son Eric was taken in a car crash back in 1994 I was told by my grief group to do something nice for myself. That was the first time I had my nails done and 23 years later I'm still doing it. It has gotten easier to do nice things for myself over the years and it was very good advice. The only person we can control is ourselves. Contentment comes from within.
In the wake of the Humboldt Broncos tragedy, I'm reminded how devastating it is to lose a child. When we lose a spouse, we are called a widow/widower, when we lose our parents we are called orphans however, when we lose a child there is no name for that because it is so unimaginable! The pain of losing a child is unique to those of us parents that have suffered that loss and doing something nice for yourself is most difficult. I didn't feel like I deserved to be treated nice ... he was gone! I didn't feel I deserved to smile, laugh or even feel any joy for such a long time.
There are moments in every day that I still have those feelings! I do manage to get through the days and weeks and somehow they have added up to years! Don't let the smile on my face fool you ... I miss him as much today as the first day he was gone!
I don't say ... "I lost my son" because if I lost him, I would spend every day looking for him. I don't believe he's in a "better place" because his place was here with his family. I will say that the days are such that I have learned to allow the pain to just be there, beside me through my days.
I wish for the parents of the sons that were taken in the recent tragedy that healing comes to their hearts. For the adults that lost their lives I pray their families find comfort in each other. For the truck driver that was involved, and I just learned that he is only 30 years old, I prey he finds the strength to go on. Continue to be able to move forward and become a successful member of society. That is how he will be able to show his strength.
My heart has been broken for so long, when I hear of tragedies such as this, whether it's one child taken or 13 all at once. The pain is enormous!
Hug your family, treat each other with respect and make each day worth the gift that it is!
When my son Eric was taken in a car crash back in 1994 I was told by my grief group to do something nice for myself. That was the first time I had my nails done and 23 years later I'm still doing it. It has gotten easier to do nice things for myself over the years and it was very good advice. The only person we can control is ourselves. Contentment comes from within.
In the wake of the Humboldt Broncos tragedy, I'm reminded how devastating it is to lose a child. When we lose a spouse, we are called a widow/widower, when we lose our parents we are called orphans however, when we lose a child there is no name for that because it is so unimaginable! The pain of losing a child is unique to those of us parents that have suffered that loss and doing something nice for yourself is most difficult. I didn't feel like I deserved to be treated nice ... he was gone! I didn't feel I deserved to smile, laugh or even feel any joy for such a long time.
There are moments in every day that I still have those feelings! I do manage to get through the days and weeks and somehow they have added up to years! Don't let the smile on my face fool you ... I miss him as much today as the first day he was gone!
I don't say ... "I lost my son" because if I lost him, I would spend every day looking for him. I don't believe he's in a "better place" because his place was here with his family. I will say that the days are such that I have learned to allow the pain to just be there, beside me through my days.
I wish for the parents of the sons that were taken in the recent tragedy that healing comes to their hearts. For the adults that lost their lives I pray their families find comfort in each other. For the truck driver that was involved, and I just learned that he is only 30 years old, I prey he finds the strength to go on. Continue to be able to move forward and become a successful member of society. That is how he will be able to show his strength.
My heart has been broken for so long, when I hear of tragedies such as this, whether it's one child taken or 13 all at once. The pain is enormous!
Hug your family, treat each other with respect and make each day worth the gift that it is!
posted by Vivian | April 11, 2018
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